so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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