I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
