You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
