Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
