There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
