They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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