I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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