my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
