he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
