You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
pop tarts are not kleenex
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
