We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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