Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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