yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you made out with another girl for some wings
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
