no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
