I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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