I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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