Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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