Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
