If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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