I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
