Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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