Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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