Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
