she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
