I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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