I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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