I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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