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i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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