i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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