I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
