ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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