I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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