Please, let me fuck your mom
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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