If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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