Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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