Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize