guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
