Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
