Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
