we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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