he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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