too bad you live with your parents still
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
