his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
