I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
