$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
