everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
