it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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