let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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