when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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