You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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