babies were throwing up all over the place
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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