Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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