I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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