I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
