There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
