I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
