when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
