I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
