ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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