it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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