You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize